Here’s a tip for any adoptive parent who is thinking about writing “An Open Letter to the Adoption Community”:
Addressing your letter to “the adoption community” is fine. However, signing it “For our internationally adopted children” is not. My first reaction upon reading the closing words was to forget the odiousness that came before it and think, “Wait, I don’t have any internationally adopted children!”
Who exactly did the author of this letter have in mind when she referenced “our” internationally adopted children? Clearly, she was thinking about other adoptive parents…. not adult adoptees.
It may seem like a small thing that isn’t worth “choosing” to be bothered about. But it’s through small ways like this that adult adoptees are routinely ignored, overlooked, and made invisible during conversations about adoption — seemingly inconsequential acts that ensure the power stays in the hands of those that already have it.
As an adult adoptee, I AM part of the “adoption community” … despite the little ways that people try and tell me I’m not.
3 responses so far ↓
Mara // August 26, 2009 at 8:41 pm |
“The Adoption Community” in the minds of most AP’s DOES NOT include adult adoptees.
We served our purposes are children who fulfilled the needs of the childless and now we are NOTHING.
Su // September 3, 2009 at 7:09 am |
I also felt that adult adoptee’s voices are underestimated in my experience (my self is not adoptee, not adoptive parent) . Even though the adoptees are the expert in adoption, but seems not to be really respected, which is shame and sad.
Luke // September 17, 2009 at 9:46 am |
I totally agree. We were at a meeting for adoptee on improving the adoptee community and the parents came in and overtook the discussion to make it about them and not the adoptees.