Name-dropping

“I don’t care what you say about me, as long as you say something about me, and as long as you spell my name right.”

- George Cohan

Why do people assume that it’s okay to drop one part of a hyphenated name?

That’s why I have the frickin’ hyphen there, people!  So that both parts are kept… together!  If I see a hyphenated name, I assume that’s why the person put the hyphen there also — because both parts are important and are supposed to stay connected.  Of course, not everyone with a two-word first name uses a hyphen, but I thought that a hyphen would make things just a little bit easier for us both.

People don’t have to know a lick about the linguistic structure of how traditional Korean names are formed in order to get it right. This is not a matter of cultural education, or any kind of education at all. Really, all you have to do is call people what they say their name is. It’s that simple. I don’t assume that a person named Mary-Anne (or Mary Anne, for that matter) goes by “Mary”.  I don’t assume that “Anne” is her middle name and thus should be dropped.  Why should non-Western names be any different?

I’ve seen this kind of name-dropping happen with last names, too.  I knew a guy in college who had a hyphenated last name; the first part was his mother’s last name and the second part was his father’s.  (Or the other way around, I can’t remember.)  He was very proud of this fact, and always made a point to introduce himself by stating his full last name.  But people rarely called him that.  They just picked whichever one was easier for them to remember.

(I suspect something slightly more unsavory was at work when I was in the fifth grade and one of the teachers hyphenated her last name after getting married.  Back then (yes, this was over 20 years ago so I can say that) this kind of thing was a bit less common, and the (male) assistant principal repeatedly referred to her as “Mrs. [Jones]” (her husband’s last name) instead of “Mrs. [Miller-Jones]” (her married name).  I don’t know if he had an ideological objection to her decision or if he was just daft, but it was a little weird.  I couldn’t help thinking: “But doesn’t she want to be called Mrs. [Miller-Jones] rather than Mrs. [Jones]?”)

Being called “Sang” is not the end of my world.  (Trust me, I’ve been called worse!)  But I usually do correct people and point out that my full first name (at least in the bloggy world) is “Sang-Shil,” because even though it’s a made-up name, it is still mine and I want them to get it right.