The Year of Disappointment

Unfortunately 2008 was, in many ways, a year of disappointment.

Along with The-Big-Thing-That-Didn’t-Happen-And-Then-Overshadowed-Everything-Else-With-Its-Nothingness, there were any number of smaller disappointments that together colored much of the year a dull gray.  Thank goodness Obama won the election, or else that would have been one more let-down on an already lengthy list!

And yet I remain optimistic that 2009 will be a better year.  I figure that life can only be so wrong for so long, and then things will have to turn around… right?  Given how spectacularly I failed at last year’s goals/resolutions I’m hesitant to post anything similar for 2009.  But trust me, I do have dreams for this coming year and I believe that I can make them come true.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

To the friends that I have made online in 2008 — thank you.

White Lily Groups on Facebook

There are some things that, if put off long enough, will eventually be done by someone else.  And probably better than if you had done them yourself.

I’d been meaning to create a Facebook group for former residents of the White Lily Orphanage for several months.  I looked for one as soon as I joined Facebook about a year ago — 364 days ago, to be exact — but there weren’t any.  (There was a group on a site called Gather, but nothing on Facebook.)  I checked again in April before and after my trip to White Lily, and again a few weeks  ago when new comments were appearing on my post Signs From the Past.

As certain people are well aware, I am *cough* not the most savvy Facebook user around, and I kept hoping that someone else would create a group so I wouldn’t have to tread any more unknown Facebook ground.  As it turned out, two people did on the same day!  So, if you ever passed through the White Lily Orphanage and want to connect with others who did also, check out these groups:

(You must be logged into Facebook in order to see these pages.)

The White Lily Connection:

This is the Facebook version of the group that was on Gather, and as of today has more members.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=18012399995

White Lily Orphanage Group:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=41549048500

The World’s Smallest Violin

Right now I am playing the world’s smallest violin for white Americans in Korea who complain about being stared at by Koreans.

It feels different to be a racial minority for once, doesn’t it?

Mistakes Were Made

A few years ago I made an appearance at a meeting of a local Familes With Children from China chapter, and talked about my personal experiences growing up as a Korean adoptee. It was my first time doing this sort of thing, and I really didn’t know what to expect. I wasn’t prepared to be peppered with questions on how to handle playground racism, something I have many painful memories of but not much insight into dealing with.

Still, something I said must have been helpful, because in an informal conversation afterwards one of the parents told me, “Thank you for talking with us; the parents of today’s Chinese adoptees are learning so much from the mistakes that were made with your generation of Korean adoptees.”

Uh, you’re welcome… I think.

Please don’t get me wrong; in some ways it really is gratifying to know or be told that I am helping future generations of adoptees by sharing my experiences.  I really do want new generations of international adoptees to have better, happier experiences than some of the ones that I’ve had.

I want them to grow up in communities where they are not the only people of their race, ethnicity, or culture, where they themselves do not constitute “the diversity” of that community. I want them to face less racism during their lives, and to be better prepared for it when they do. I want them to have an easier time developing a positive racial and ethnic identity than many adoptees of my generation. I want all these things for them, and more.

But occasionally I have to wonder, do I really want to be held up as an example of what might happen?  As a warning to others so that today’s adopted children  don’t *gasp* turn out like me?

Because maybe even worse than “turning out like” me… is actually being me.

Name-dropping

“I don’t care what you say about me, as long as you say something about me, and as long as you spell my name right.”

- George Cohan

Why do people assume that it’s okay to drop one part of a hyphenated name?

That’s why I have the frickin’ hyphen there, people!  So that both parts are kept… together!  If I see a hyphenated name, I assume that’s why the person put the hyphen there also — because both parts are important and are supposed to stay connected.  Of course, not everyone

Protected: Tattoo

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Psst

Here’s a little hint for any prospective/newly adoptive parents who might be reading here:

If you bring a 4-year old girl from China to her “forever home” and she looks less than thrilled to be there, it’s probably more than just jet lag.

Jus’ saying.