These, apparently, were the words spoken by a mother shopping for a doll for her daughter at an FAO Schwarz Newborn Adoption Center. All of the white doll-babies available for sale adoption had already been sold adopted, leaving only cribs full of less desirable waiting minority doll-babies.
This is according to a story that aired on This American Life, which you can listen to here (click on “full episode” and fast forward to 41 minutes in).
Also, be sure and read this post (“Out of the Cabbage Patch and Into the Fire“) by Chris at Ingrata, in which he writes:
Ostensibly a story about prejudice toward racial minorities and people with disabilities with only a slight nod toward the adoption industry’s commidification of children (a supervisor instructs staff never to mention the word”sell” in its “adoption interview” before it collects the “adoption fee”), the storyteller, in this case a sales associate (“nurse”) recounts her experience of customer reactions when all the white babies sell out, leaving row upon row of minority babies lying unadopted in their “incubators.”
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A couple of things struck me about this story. According to the narrator, it seemed that more often than not it was the parents (the child’s parents, not the 7-year-old prospective adoptive “mommy”) who were insisting on white babies. What kinds of messages were these parents sending to their children about the relative value of different races? Does the insatiable desire for healthy white infants (and the resultant devaluation of anything else as “less than”) begin at home?
Also, after the white babies were all sold out, guess which babies were the next highest in demand? That’s right, the Asian babies — the “honorary” whites, the “next best thing” to being white. (See Jae Ran’s post explaining why in fact Asians are not “the other white meat”.) After that? The Latino/a (“Hispanic”) babies. Part of the “horror” of this story is that not only were the Black babies the last to be sold, but the display-only defective special needs baby (whose fingers melted together in a manufacturing error) was sold first. (I’m not sure who is supposed to be more insulted here.)
As Chris writes in his post, the entire Newborn Adoption Center scenario is “callously accurate” in its depiction of the adoption industry. He points out that babies are viewed as commodities to be bought and sold. Birth certificates are falsified to perpetuate the “as-if born to” myth. The whole concept is targeted and marketed to little girls, reinforcing the gender stereotype that they are the Future Nurturers of America.
I would add that the same hierarchy of race that exists in the “Newborn Adoption Centers” exists for real, living, breathing, children who are emphatically not dolls. The adoptive “parents” appear to be overwhelmingly white. The high cost of adoption precludes people who want to be parents and who might be good parents (including prospective parents of color) from adopting. Issues of class intersect with issues of race. And nobody is talking about first parents, or why these babies are “available” for adoption in the first place.
Hmm.
Seems like the only things missing are the race-based differential prices adoption fees, and perhaps a baby-dump Safe Haven receptacle next door.
But give the toy companies and retailers time, and I’m sure they’ll come up with those things soon enough.
Just like we did in real life.
Hat tip to Chris at Ingrata.
14 responses so far ↓
Jennifer // January 29, 2008 at 8:03 am |
Thanks for this Sang-shil–I heard the piece this weekend and was thinking of blogging about it, but what I really wondered is what adoptees, especially adoptees of color, especially transracial/transnationaln adoptees of color by white adopted parents would think about this piece.
It IS so disturbing to imagine the scenario playing out, and there are so many elements to it–like the woman narrating the piece having to deal with the racist comment about Latinos when she, herself, is half-Mexican. And being in the workplace, it’s hard to confront racist crap–like telling the woman off when really she has to be polite and continue to show her prospective baby dolls for adoption. UGH.
panracial // January 29, 2008 at 1:50 pm |
The racism that drives this story is disturbing, but somehow, and I could be wrong, but the idea of a bunch of white girls carrying minority baby dolls seems like a way to train them to exploit underprivilege and snatch some poor woman of color’s baby in China or Guatemala later on. It seems to me that the real problem isn’t so much white women not wanting minority dolls but feeling entitled to real life minority babies.
Chris // January 29, 2008 at 8:10 pm |
Hi Sang-Shil…I’m so glad you picked up on this thread and fleshed out some of the race/class issues in detail, particularly the “hierarchy of race” …well said. I thought of you when I was listening to the radio piece in terms of what you’d have to say about those (generic) Asian dolls being the next to sell out. One of the reasons I enjoy your writing is it helps me tune into my own unexamined privilege and deepen my thinking, so thanks! And the baby dump play kit? lord help us all….don’t forget the donor-conceived matching game…fun for all ages!
Race Preference in Adoption « My Sky ~ Multiracial Family Life // January 29, 2008 at 10:54 pm |
[...] who worked in toy store FAO Schwartz’s Newborn Nursery (hat tip to Mixed Race America and Land of the Not-So-Calm). Here is the toy store’s promotional [...]
imtina // February 1, 2008 at 12:17 am |
I finally had time to listen to this piece. Firstly, I loved the way it was written, and the way she read it.
Now, my reaction. HOW APALLING!
I felt most sick when listening to the mother and daughter monster team who ended up reluctantly adopting ‘nubbins’. It’s all eerie, thinking about the marketing meetings that took place and the conversations therein. The set-up of the nursery and the picket fence.
You’re right, it absolutely does mimic the real world of adoption.
I’m not unaware that I might not have that much credit in this critique as I am a white, western woman who adopted an Asian girl.
But, I just have to say how sickened I was thinking about those so-called liberal, so-called educated upper East-siders requesting white dolls without having to actually *say* the words. What a disheartening thing to think about how we, as a society, pretend that we’ve come so far in our attitudes towarads African Americans and minorities at large and yet…. it seems in this piece, that we have just pushed it all down. It’s there, the racism is still alive, just in different forms, wearing different masks.
Tragic.
HeatherN3Boys // February 3, 2008 at 9:31 am |
Ouch. We can’t adopt because $20,000 to $40,000 isn’t something we have just lying around. It’s not always the parents selecting babies based on race, but agencies and birth parents, as well. When we were trying so hard to find an agency that would help us adopt, many would not allow us to adopt a black infant because they “felt it would disturb the child’s cultural identity.” We could only adopt children who were not white if we went the international route. Let me add here that I don’t consider myself with be white, but Filipino if we’re really trying to be specific. When I was a child, I had black and white dolls and never thought twice about it – I wish they made more dolls that were “differently pigmented.” What a tragedy that the real issue isn’t where the best home for that child truly is… And how horrible that mothers are perpetuating a stereotype within their own children. *sigh*
Maureen // February 4, 2008 at 9:14 am |
Let’s point out that the majority of people who are adopting are white couples, so the majority of children should correspond.
Sang-Shil // February 4, 2008 at 10:18 am |
Maureen — I’m not sure what you mean by “correspond.” Do you mean “match,” in that the race of the child should match the race of the adult/parent? Or do you mean something else? I’m just asking for clarification.
imtina // February 6, 2008 at 10:29 am |
Let’s point out that children ought to grow up with a family rather than in foster care.
Let’s point out that there are more children of color than caucasion children available for adoption in this country.
Heather, I would not give up trying to find an agency. I know plenty of caucasian parents who have children of color.
Tina
Race preference in adoption at Anti-Racist Parent - for parents committed to raising children with an anti-racist outlook // June 18, 2008 at 7:36 am |
[...] who worked in toy store FAO Schwartz’s Newborn Nursery (hat tip to Mixed Race America and Land of the Not-So-Calm). Here is the toy store’s promotional [...]
jose // July 26, 2008 at 4:54 pm |
As far as baby dolls go – 90% used to be only white baby dolls being made.
But black people didnt like the idea of thier daughters carrying around a white baby doll, and black mothers could be heard uttering “Where are all the Black Babies?”.
So nowadays we have Black baby dolls. And dolls of every color, cause it turns out….people want thier kids playing with dolls that look like them.
From that alone, your story is turned on its head. This is a nice anti-white story but its not true. Every race tends to prefer thier own, especially when it comes to children.
The many faces of “Orientalism” at Anti-Racist Parent - for parents committed to raising children with an anti-racist outlook // April 15, 2009 at 8:37 am |
[...] analysis of this story and the issues surrounding transracial adoption, please go to the post (click here), where you can also find a link to the full story on This American [...]
Rita // April 15, 2009 at 12:08 pm |
I’m here via antiracistparent.com. Certainly that whole FAO Schwarz thing is disturbing in a number of ways, and it holds up a mirror that most of us don’t want to look into too closely. But that mirror is also a bit of a distortion. The issues around this marketing scheme, and also around adoption in general and transracial adoption in particular, are incredibly complex. We have to guard against drawing conclusions that are too simplistic.
For example, the doll issue cannot be completely carried over to adoption. A doll is a toy, adoption is about real people and real families. Most children want a doll who looks like them – is that racism, or normal childhood ego? Another way to look at this issue: why aren’t more Asian/Latino/Black families buying these dolls?
As for adoption, some families do prefer to adopt a child who is of their same race. Is that simply racism, or is it that the parents feel they are not capable of raising a child of another race? Of course, the answer may very well involve both, not to mention other factors.
Finally, you said: And nobody is talking about first parents, or why these babies are “available” for adoption in the first place.
That is simply not true. Certainly these issues need to be discussed a lot more, especially by adoptive parents. But it is not true that no one is talking about it.
For myself, I’m most disturbed by the way the dolls were marketed as a form of adoption – precisely because it does invite people to make an inappropriate analogy with real adoption.
For the record, I am the white mother of a Black/Hispanic boy who I adopted through the foster care system.
Sang-Shil // April 15, 2009 at 1:20 pm |
Rita — Thank you so much for stopping by! ARP does seem to like this post, since it’s the second time they’ve linked to it now. A few thoughts, which I don’t really have time to cobble together in a proper response:
You’re right that dolls are *not* children, which I believe I mentioned at some point in my post. As an aside, however, I have to wonder if there are some parents (celebrities?) who view their children as fulfilling the same needs that these dolls fulfill for 7-year-old girls. (And this is a genuine question, not a “simplistic conclusion”.)
Regarding childhood ego as a potential reason for children wanting dolls that look like them — except for the fact that it seems to be the white *parents* who are pushing their children towards the white dolls, then I would say that this is quite plausible.
You asked: “why aren’t more Asian/Latino/Black families buying these dolls?” One word: PRICE. Thanks to institutionalized racism and the intersectionality of race and class in our society, families of color are statistically less likely to have the means to spend $100 on a toy.
I agree that the reason for not adopting a child of a different race could be motivated largely by concerns of not being prepared to/capable of raising said child. And to be honest, that’s fine — I would much rather that parents realize this before the fact rather than after. (Of course, the cynic in me wonders if a small percentage of these parents are more “unwilling, uninterested, or not open to learning” than simply “unprepared to or not capable of doing,” but whatevs.)
Lastly, about the conversations regarding first parents, I believe I meant that largely in reference to the doll scenario. FAO Schwarz’ Newborn Adoption Centers make no mention at all of where these doll-babies came from, or of any moment in their lives before they become the property of the child-mommy.
I do think that real-life adoption is shifting in that regard, as more and more people recognize the importance of children’s origins in both domestic and international adoptions. I think that shift needs to continue, and if it can do so with an eye towards family preservation in as many cases as possible (which yes, I know won’t be every single one), then so much the better.