Yup, this was actually a statement that went through my mind at a wedding that we went to several years ago, and I must admit that more than a few minutes went by before I realized what was wrong with it, at least at the surface level.
But let me back up.
The posts at Racialicious and Resist Racism got me thinking about my own interracial friendships. (Actually, Mona’s reactions to Hurricane Katrina got me thinking more about my own family, but that’s a whole other post.) More specifically, they got me thinking about a Black friend whose wedding we attended about seven years ago–she is Black, the guy she was marrying is Black, as are their families.
And so were all of the guests, except for us, which led to my matter-of-fact observation that “I think we’re [LB and I] the only white people here!” (And yes, I’m ashamed to admit that if anything, I was congratulating myself on how open-minded and diverse and politically correct I was–as in, look at me everybody! I have Black friends! I’m not afraid to be one of only two white people in a room!)
Except I’m not white.
Part of my point is that, as Frank H. Wu points out in his book Yellow: Race in America Beyond Black and White, as a society we tend to think of race in terms of Black and white. Things that are “not Black” are assumed to be white, and vice versa, with little thought given to any other races that might exist. And clearly I am not above falling into this trap.
But the other part of my point is that even as an adult, my unconsidered inclination was to think of myself as white rather than Asian. Culture camp, a semester of trying to learn Korean, countless college culture shows–for what?
Yes, folks, the effects of growing up in a predominantly white family and going to predominantly white schools in predominantly white towns are hard to erase.
3 responses so far ↓
justenjoyhim // November 27, 2007 at 8:42 pm |
Three times kids have questioned why either my husband or I are Nate’s parents if we don’t look like him, and each of those times they have said, “but you’re white and he’s black.” Color again is dichotomized into white and black.
Each time we’ve responded “he’s brown and I’m white because . . . “
Sang-Shil // November 28, 2007 at 10:43 am |
Judy – you don’t mention the ages of the kids who have asked you that and maybe they’re too young, but I’m surprised that their parents hadn’t talked with them about the simple (okay, not-so-simple) distinction between Blacks and Asians. Maybe it was because I was a different race from my parents, but we talked about the *many* ways that people are different starting as soon as I can remember.
Thanks for visiting my blog, and for posting the first comment! (Someday I’ll even figure out how to add boldtype to my comments
!)
justenjoyhim // November 28, 2007 at 9:28 pm |
These kids were around 5-7 years old. They were all Caucasian, and I think that for them to only know “white” and “black” actually must have come from their parents. Sad, really.